Wendell "Shorteyes" Albright is a child molester that looks like a fat version of Dennis. He was released from Eastern State Correctional Facility due to overcrowding. Also, he genuinely loves the Disney Channel for the wrong reasons. He is forced to leave Philly thanks to Dennis blackmailing him.
- Wendell Albright is played by Glenn Howerton, the actor that plays Dennis, in fat makeup.