|"Mac and Dennis Break Up"|
|Season Five, Episode Nine|
|Writer||Scott Marder & Rob Rosell|
|Air Date||November 12, 2009|
| Watch this episode:|
"Mac and Dennis Break Up" is the ninth episode of the fifth season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Mac and Dennis arrive at Dee's apartment for a popcorn bowl and Dee insults them for spending so much time together. She also shows off her new cat, and they comment that she has begun her trasformation has begun into a crazy cat lady.
Back at their apartment, Mac calls the cops on Dennis after he was out of the apartment for over an hour. They realize they are too dependent on other people so Mac decides to spend time with Frank and Charlie, and Dennis decides to spend time with Dee.
When Dennis arrives at Dee's apartment, she is worried because her cat has somehow crawled into her wall and is trapped. She finds out that she has to baby Dennis like Mac does, including peeling his apples. At Charlie's apartment, Mac can not believe the mess that Charlie and Frank live in and decides to clean up. Charlie grows tired of Mac's bossiness so decides to go watch a movie with Dennis at Dee's place.
At her apartment, Charlie becomes more interested in the cat-in-the-wall situation. He offers to help. Dennis whines that nobody is watching the movie with him. Mac becomes too bossy and clean for Frank, so he heads for Dee's apartment as well.
Charlie ties a string to another cat which he puts in a new hole he busted in the wall, with the plan of making them codependent and pulling the second cat out. The string breaks and Dee decides to try another method: a bird on a string. Dennis annoys Charlie and Dee by freaking out over swallowed apple seeds. Frank arrives and the three of them agree to get Dennis and Mac back together again.
Dennis and Mac are lured to a restaurant thinking they are going to meet a large breasted woman. At first they fight and throw water at each other, but they eventually realize they make a good team and decide to be friends again. Back at Dee's apartment, Dee sends in a bird on a string, but the string breaks. She snaps and busts a huge hole in her wall and walks in herself. She finds out that Charlie and Frank have put many more cats into the wall trying to retrieve her cat. They leave and she gets stuck in her wall, no closer to finding her cat.
- Charlie and Dee and later Charlie and Frank team up to get cats out of Dee's wall.
- Frank and Mac become roommates.
- John Ponzio as Manager
- Ara Anton as Police Officer
- Shaun Paul Costello as Dude
- Dennis and Mac watch Predator quite frequently.
- After Mac and Dennis throw cups of water at each other in the restaurant, a large water stain is visible on Dennis' shirt. After the manager comes to tell them to leave, this stain is looks significantly smaller
(maybe, that's because Dennis is TOO HOT).
From deleted scene:
|—||“(to Charlie) I'm gonna go ahead away on this, and say that regardless of whether or not Mac ends up living here, you need to stop eating cat food.”|
|—||“Well, because you're not a cat.”|
From an extended take (Season 5 promo):
|—||“My struggles with cats cause back to my beginnings.”|
- Dennis: Heyo!
- Mac: Yo, where you been?
- Dennis: What do you mean? I was getting the movie.
- Mac: Yeah, but you weren't answering any of my calls. I've been, I've been calling you sort of over and over again.
- Dennis: I was having a conversation with the video store clerk.
- Mac: Yeah, but I texted you 911, dude. That means it's an emergency.
- Dennis: Yeah, I saw that. What was the emergency, Mac?
- Mac: Well, I couldn't get in touch with you, dude. I almost called the police.
- Dennis: The police? That's a bit of an overreaction. I was gone for what, an hour?
- Mac: Yeah, but I thought we had a deal. You know, you would check in every once in a while and then that way I would know that you were okay.
- Dennis: Okay, I'm okay. Uh, I'm sorry, can we watch the movie?
- Mac: Yeah, great, sure. The Transporter 2 ?
- Dennis: Yeah, I, look, man, I... , I know you wanted to see Predator again but I feel like we've seen that 30 times in the last two months and thought maybe we could mix things up. Video store clerk guy said this movie is awesome, so...
- Mac: The video store clerk guy. I feel like you won't stop talking about him.
- Dennis: I asked him for a movie recommendation, okay?
- Mac: Yeah, you got one.
- Dennis: It's really not that big of a deal.
- Mac: Well, the big deal, Dennis, is that I wasn't even consulted on the decision, okay? And this is a big deal to me, as well. It's also my night. Plus, Transporter 2? We haven't seen Transporter 1 which means we'll be completely lost... Plus, Jason Statham's physique is nothing like the line-up in Predator.
- Dennis: Okay, will you stop? I don't want to have conversations anymore about dudes' physiques and whether they can...
- Mac: Dennis, in body mass alone...
- Dennis: That's what I was trying to avoid. A conversation about body mass, okay? We've had that conversation five times a day for the last month because we keep watching Predator and all you talk about is Weathers and Jesse "The Body" Ventura and how many pounds they can pack on...
- Mac: It's important to pack on mass. You're talking about carbo-loading.
- Dennis: I don't want to, I don't want to have this conversation with you anymore.
- Mac: No, you'd rather have conversations with video store clerks.
- Dennis: You know what, man, if you don't wanna watch the movie with me, that's fine. I will watch it by myself. Goddamn it!
- Mac: Whoa, whoa, whoa, where is this coming from?
- Dennis: I have been thinking a lot about what Dee said and I do think... maybe we are spending a little bit too much time together.
- Dee: Yeah, [my cat's] in the wall.
- Dennis: Well that's a bummer, but I'm sure he'll come out at some point. He got himself in there, I'm sure he'll get himself out. Or he won't, and he'll die in there and you'll have a dead cat smell for a while but listen, I'm going to help you out of that jam: we'll open the windows and get some scented candles going, maybe get a big fan going in here, maybe he'll decompose and everything will be fine. Boom! That's what it's like to have a sidekick. Helped you out of a jam.
- Mac: Jesus Christ, Frank. Are you cutting your toenails with a steak knife?
- Frank: Ah! Botched toe! I botched that one! That's a botch job. That's bleeding, I need some trash to plug up the cut.
- Mac: Do not plug an open wound with trash.
- Frank: It's bleeding like a siv!
- Mac: Then use you sock!
- Charlie: Ohh! Don't waste a good sock!
- Dennis: I did help you out of that jam. I told you what to do with your dead stinking cat.
- Dennis: Oh,do me a favor. Peel this apple for me please.
- Dee: No, no I'm not gonna peel an apple for you.
- Dennis: But Mac always does it for me.
- Dee: Why does Mac peel apples for you?
- Dennis: He doesn't like for me to eat the apple with the skin on it. He said the skin is loaded with toxins.
- Dee: Ok, well good news Mac's not here.
- Dennis: I know he's not here and that's why I need you to do it for me please, please.
- Dee: Ah! Jesus just eat it with the skin on.
- Dennis: [panicking] I do not like it with the skin Dee! I'm not allowed to eat it with the skin, I'm not allowed!
- Dee: Oh my god alright if you just shut up I will peel the apple for you the way Mac likes you to eat it. Give it to me, give it to me. I'll do it the way Mac insists, okay?
- Charlie: Cat in the wall, eh? Ok, now you're talking my language. I know this game.
- Charlie: What's the point of entry, here?
- Dee: That's the thing, Charlie. I'm looking all around this goddamn place. I can't find one.
- Charlie: Alright, I've seen this before. You know what happen? I bet it flattened itself out, and went right through a seam in your wall.
- Dee: I don't think there's anything in the laws of nature that would support that.
- Charlie: Cats do not abide by the laws of nature.
- Charlie: Let's focus on what's happening with the cat. It made a conscious decision to go in your wall? Absolutely. It chose to be in your wall.
- Dee: I'm thinking about getting some cat nip.
- Charlie: No no no. Don't do that. It's going to know it's a trap, Dee. That's going to irritate the cat, and then it's going to dig itself down further and we may never get to it. Lets start thinking like a cat here, alright? You know - we need another cat. That's what we need. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to crack a little hole in your wall - a tiny one, it'll be cool - and then I'm going to slip a second cat in with a string tied around it. Those two will become codependent, then I'll rip the second cat out and the first one hopefully, hopefully will follow.
- Charlie: Oh, I'll get you another cat. I got followed here by like ten cats. They're starting to follow me these days.
- Frank: This place is tits!
- [Frank bites an apple]
- Mac: Whoa, Frank, no! The skin of those things is riddled with toxins!
- Mac: I cleaned out this closet. I'm telling you bro, we can fit a mattress in there. You can Charlie don't have to sleep next to each other anymore.
- Frank: I kinda liked the other arrangement though. That was pretty good.
- Mac: Yeah, the other arrangement was not pretty good. It was, uhm... it was.. what's the word I'm looking for?
- Frank: Crazy!
- Mac: No, it's not crazy. It's like...
- Frank: Whack-a-do!
- Frank: I'm not going to put airs just because I have company.
- Mac: So you think not eating cat food is putting on airs?
- Dennis: Hey guys! I swallowed apple seeds?
- Dee: So what?
- Dennis: Are the poisonous?
- Charlie: Are you kidding me dude? They're extremely poisonous!
- Dee: They're absolutely not poisonous!
- Dennis: Should I make myself throw up?
- Charlie: I would throw up now!
- Charlie: I got two cats stuck inside this wall, can't get them out.
- Frank: Want to bring in a third?
- Charlie: I'm thinking maybe four.
- Dennis: I was told I would be meeting a woman with giant breasts.
- Mac: I was also told I would be meeting a woman with giant breasts!
- Dennis: I swallowed some appleseeds today.
- Mac: Did you make yourself throw up?
- Dennis: Smoke some cigarettes. The smoke will suffocate the bacteria in your stomach.
- Mac: This is why you and I are such a good yeam. I'm a man of action, and you're a man that comes up with good...
- Dennis: Words?
- Mac: Words, dude.
- Dennis: Yeah, ok. You really got to work on your vocabulary though, man. You couldn't think of the word "words!"
- Dee: Whoa, there are a lot of cats back here!
- Charlie: Yeah, I put a lot of cats in there.
|Season 5 Episodes|
| 1. "The Gang Exploits the Mortgage Crisis"|
2. "The Gang Hits the Road"
3. "The Great Recession"
4. "The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention"
5. "The Waitress Is Getting Married"
6. "The World Series Defense"
7. "The Gang Wrestles for the Troops"
| 8. "Paddy's Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens"|
9. "Mac and Dennis Break Up"
10. "The D.E.N.N.I.S. System"
11. "Mac and Charlie Write a Movie"
12. "The Gang Reignites the Rivalry"
13. "A Very Sunny Christmas"