"Lethal Weapon 5" (aka "masterpiece", "the greatest movie of all time" or "Ed Wood sucks!") - it's a short amateur film, made by The Gang (except Sweet Dee). Running time: 14:31 min. Some scenes from that movie you might have seen in Season's 6 "Dee Reynolds: Shaping America's Youth" episode. Extended cut of "LW5" (with optional commentary by characters of the show - Mac, Charlie and Dennis) has available now on DVD and Blu-ray editions of Season Six.
- starring: Mac & Dennis;
- also: Frank Reynolds & Charlie Kelly;
- with Artemis Dubois;
- written by Mac & Dennis;
- make up by Dennis Reynolds;
- music by Charlie Kelly;
- stunts coordinated by Mac;
- edited by Josh Drisko;
- wigs by Artemis Dubois;
- set PA: Rickety Cricket;
- produced by Frank Reynolds;
- directed by Mac & Dennis.
- directed by Mac & Dennis;
- Mac: Martin Riggs / Roger Murtaugh;
- Dennis Reynolds: Roger Murtaugh / Martin Riggs;
- Frank Reynolds as Chief Lazurus;
- Charlie Kelly: Police Chief / Goon #1 / Goon #2;
- Artemis Dubois as Street Whore;
- love scene choreography by Frank Reynolds;
- written by Mac & Dennis;
- produced by Frank Reynolds;
- edited by Josh Drisko.
(Note: this summary is based on the extended cut from the Season 6 DVD set, not the shorter version shown in the episode "Dee Reynolds: Shaping America's Youth")
Martin Riggs (Mac) goes into the office of his friend and partner Roger Murtaugh (Dennis Reynolds) with a cake to celebrate his retirement. The celebration is interrupted by their captain (Charlie Kelly) who tells them that someone else has died due to tainted tap water. When Murtaugh tells him that he's retired, the captain informs him that the victim was Murtaugh's wife. Murtaugh tells Riggs "I just thought of my wish", and blows out the candle on his cake.
They track down a hooker (Artemis Dubois). They handcuff her to the car and tell her that they have heard she may have information on who is poisoning the water supply. She refuses to talk at first, but after Riggs starts to gun the car forward with her still handcuffed to it, she talks, telling them that it was "some Indian guy" (feather, not dot) who "owns a bunch of casinos". Despite offering to "suck [them] until I pass out", they take off, dragging the whore behind them.
They go to see the Indian in question: Chief Lazarus (Frank Reynolds). His office overlooks a massive aquarium, where he shows off his pet shark as he eats a shark steak. A rather buxom blonde is at his side. He denies knowing anything about the tainted water supply, but Riggs points out that his tribe owns the water rights to half of LA. Again, the Chief denies having anything to do with it, pointing out that he needs clean water too. He tells them that he has "pressing matters" to attend to, so they leave.
We then cut to the Chief banging the blonde he was with. For a very long time, in very excruciatingly graphic detail. At least it seems like a very long time.
Riggs (now played by Dennis Reynolds) is tied to a pipe behind a building, where one of the Chief's goons (Charlie Kelly) shocks him with a stun gun. Riggs manages to snap the goon's neck by getting his legs around his neck, which allows him to free himself, and he goes into the building.
Inside the building, Murtaugh (now played by Mac, in "blackface") is tied up, where the Chief is telling him of his plans to force the city of LA to come to him for clean water, which he will charge an exorbitant price for. Murtaugh is defiant, telling the Chief to "go suck an egg" when Chief asks for his last words. The Chief then prepares to scalp Murtaugh.
Riggs then bursts into the room with his gun. The Chief sends his goon (also played by Charlie Kelly in a blond wig to make it obvious that it's not the same goon Riggs just killed) after Riggs while he makes his escape. Riggs and the goon have a kung fu fight, which Riggs wins by kicking the goon out a window, causing him to fall to the ground and then get run over by a UPS truck.
Riggs and Murtaugh chase after the Chief, who fires on them with an assault rifle. They take cover until he runs out of bullets and runs off. Murtaugh utters his immortal line "I'm too old for this shit" and Riggs says he'll go after the Chief himself.
They run out of the building, and after they both execute really sweet slides across the hood of a car, Riggs brings the Chief down by throwing his gun, which is out of bullets, at the back of his knee. This allows him to catch up to the Chief, and they then have a very realistic and not fake-looking at all fistfight. Riggs pushes the Chief back against an electrical transformer, and prepares to arrest him, but the Chief reveals he has another gun hidden away. He is about to shoot Riggs when Murtaugh runs out there with a glass of tainted tap water, which he throws on the transformer, electrocuting the Chief to death.
Riggs and Murtaugh stand at the graves of their wives in the rain (that weird kind of rain they get in Los Angeles where it's totally sunny but raining hard in one specific spot, like someone's got a garden hose off to a side or something). They pay respects to ther wives, and then fire their guns in the air as a salute.
- In Extended Cut version of the film a "Love scene" and "Puppet Charlie falling out from the window"-scene are have some differences as compared with "Dee Reynolds: Shaping America's Youth"-version.
- In the Extended Cut, after Murtaugh tells The Chief to "Go suck an egg", he also tells him to "Suck my big black dick."
- The Extended Cut on the DVD set has a director's commentary by Mac, Dennis, and Charlie (delivered in character). In the commentary, Mac and Dennis state that Charlie "wormed his way" into the movie, and Charlie believes them when they claim that they actually did film the opening shots of L.A. in a helicopter. He also fails to recognize Paddy's Pub multiple times even though its appearance is barely changed. They also confirm that the woman Frank bangs in his "love scene" (sic) was a hooker he hired, and that, yes, they really did bang.
- All the names in the credits are character names, except for the editor, Josh Drisko, who was the series' actual editor.
- Frank's love scenes resemble those in Tommy Wiseau's The Room.
- Dee does not have a role in the movie, but she can very briefly be seen taking a bag of trash out during the scene in which one of the Chief's goons is shocking Murtaugh with a stun gun. Also, Charlie (not in character) can be briefly seen in the background of the scene in which Riggs and Murtaugh meet Chief Lazarus at the casino. The regular customers of Paddy's Pub appear as extras in a few scenes.
- The music over the closing credits is a version of the song "Runaway Train" by Elton John with Eric Clapton, which was used in the movie Lethal Weapon 3. The lyrics of the original song don't go "There's a haunted dwarf sleepin' on my porch, gonna beat me up...", though it might have been a better song if they had.