"Frank Retires" is the ninth episode of the tenth season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
When Frank decides to leave up the financial decisions of the bar to the gang, the decline of the bar's wellbeing as well as Frank's health begins and the toll is too much for any of them to take.
While investigating a mysterious hole in Paddy's bathroom floor Frank decides he has no further interest in the gang so he announces his retirement.
The rest of the gang try to divy up Frank's shares of the bar and remember their succession plan, which states that the firstborn should inherit all shares. Dennis and Dee claim the shares as twins but Charlie argues that Frank is his biological father. Mac is torn on whom he should support.
At his apartment, Charlie asks Frank for a paternity test. Frank refuses. Mac arrives and tells Charlie he is playing both sides but then cuts his hand with Frank's toe knife to prove his allegiance. They decide to take some blood from a sleeping Frank to perform a paternity test. At the hospital a doctor tells them the bucket of blood contained samples from four people and one animal, thus proving inconclusive.
Back at Paddy's Dee and Dennis make plans on what they will change. Dee attempts to be arch but her attempts only enrage Dennis. Mac arrives, telling them he is playing both sides and that Charlie has faked a paternity test. Charlie arrives and Dennis tells Mac to remove Charlie from the he bar if he wants to be head of security. Mac attempts to choke him out but instead passes out himself in a poorly executed chokehold.
Back at the apartment, a pale and weak Frank falls asleep on the couch while talking to Charlie. Dee arrives and joins with Charlie, knowing Dennis is plotting against her. They try to fill a plastic bag with more of Frank's blood but drop it on the ground. They decide to abandon the blood idea and instead get Dee the shares by proving she was born before Dennis, as her mother always told her "worst is first."
At Paddy's Mac arrives with a bottle of Frank's blood, revealing everything to Dennis. Dee and Charlie arrive moments later, followed by a sheet white Frank in a scooter. Dennis introduces Franquito, Frank's biological son with their former maid. Frank decides he doesn't want to retire, as he believes his retirement is killing his body, and tells everyone that Franquito will serve as his #2. Dennis reveals that he made up the Franquito story. Everyone gets mad at Dennis but he distracts them with the hole in the floor.
- Alden Ray as Franquito
- Recurring elements: Frank's toe knife, Charlie's blood bucket (from "The Gang Goes on Family Fight"), the ongoing question of Charlie's paternity.
- Charlie describes a "grilled Frank" which is made of sausage, spam, and bacon wrapped in a jelly pancake and cooked with a stick of butter. Previously only the grilled Charlie was known.
- We discovered that Charlie sold off his shares of Paddy's Pub in the episode "The Gang Sells Out".
- There are many elements of Game of Thrones parodied in this episode, including the "throne" that is more symbolic than comfortable, sibling colluding, debating name verses blood in regards to lineage, bastard children, and spies.
- Dee's "pyramid scheme berries" are from the Season 9 episode "Mac and Dennis Buy a Timeshare".
- Yes, there really is a Big Bone Lick State Park in Kentucky. Mac's T-shirt with its name is probably yet another piece of the running theme that Mac is gay.
- The song that plays when Frank meets Franquito is "Aquarium" from the 1886 musical suite The Carnival of the Animals and has appeared in many TV shows and movies.
- Danny DeVito actually does color his hair to play Frank; in public appearances, and other roles, he lets his natural white hair show.
Dee: To prove metal travels faster than light?
Charlie: No, to prove light is either on or off, there’s no speed to light. It was like an anti-science thing.
Mac: I’m gonna play both sides
Charlie: Why would you tell me that?
Mac: Should I not have?
Charlie: You probably shouldn’t. Because if your trying to keep a secret from me, well, now I know.
Mac: Should I tell them.
Charlie: No, I don’t think you should tell either side, because if you’re trying to play both sides then they both know. Then you’re not playing anybody.
Mac: What should I do now?
Charlie: I don’t give a shit, why are you here?
Charlie: Dude why did you sprint ahead of me?
Mac: ‘Cause I’m playing both sides!
Dennis: Oh, Jesus Christ.
|Season 10 Episodes|
| 1. "The Gang Beats Boggs"|
2. "The Gang Group Dates"
3. "Psycho Pete Returns"
4. "Charlie Work"
5. "The Gang Spies Like U.S."
|6. "The Gang Misses the Boat"|
7. "Mac Kills His Dad"
8. "The Gang Goes on Family Fight"
9. "Frank Retires"
10. "Ass Kickers United: Mac and Charlie Join a Cult"