11:15 AM on a Friday, Philadelphia, PA
The executives of Atwater Capital are having an emergency meeting. It's a week before the shareholder's meeting, and they are facing a hostile takeover by a company called the Wheeler Group. While one executive wants to cut a deal with the Wheeler Group, another exec has a different idea: bring back in the founder of the company, "The Warthog." The other exec argues that he is a "Neanderthal", but it's agreed he may be the one man who can save the company.
Meanwhile, Frank is in his apartment, on all fours, with Charlie standing on his back so he can reach a nest full of crow's eggs. Frank's phone rings, and when he answers, a voice asks him "Is this the Warthog?", to which Frank responds "I ain't heard that name in a long time."
Back at Paddy's, Dee, Dennis, and Mac are counting down the last few seconds in the 24 hours since they found a wallet at the bar. It's apparently yet another unwritten rule of Paddy's that items unclaimed for 24 hours become property of the bar. The wallet contains credit cards, cash (actually, Canadian cash, which Dee wants to throw in the trash, but which Dennis -- correctly as of the time of the original airing of this episode -- points out is worth as much as US currency), and Phillies tickets. It also has a driver's license identifying the owner of the wallet as a Brian LeFevre, from Quebec.
Charlie and Frank enter the bar, dressed in very formal business attire. Frank is giving Charlie tips on how to shake hands and make a good impression. The others ask them why they are dressed the way they are, and Frank tells them that he is going back to work for the company he founded to help them fend off the hostile takeover. Charlie says Frank is "taking [him] under his wing" and he will be working with Frank. (It's then pointed out that Charlie can't read; Frank says he will "adapt".) Dee, Dennis, and Mac leave for the Phillies game.
At the Phillies game, they discover that LeFevre's tickets are for a luxury box. Mac and Dee's first reaction on what to do is to start stealing everything they can, but Dennis points out that there must be other people coming who will know LeFevre, so they need an exit strategy. Mac's strategy is typically completely divorced from reality, involving leaping out of the box, which is 50 feet up. (Don't worry, though, he'll do a "tuck and roll.") LeFevre's hosts show up, and it turns out they have never met Brian LeFevre in person, and assume that Dennis is Brian LeFevre. They think that Dee is Prudence, Brian's wife. They aren't sure who Mac is, so he introduces himself as "Vic Vinegar, bodyguard." This backfires on Mac, however, because since he's the LeFevres' "bodyguard", he's working and can't drink with the rest of them.
Frank arrives at Atwater, and seems to be quickly taking charge. Frank introduces Charlie as his "right-hand man". As he walks around the company with some of the other execs, he notices a young employee struggling with a printer. Frank goes over to help him, and discovers a paper jam. What appears to be a kindly gesture, however, soon turns uglier. Frank asks the kid "Did I just do your job for you?" and when the kid must say "Yes", Frank fires him. This display motivates the other employees to get back to work.
At the Phillies' game, the two executives are apparently trying to buy LeFevre's Atwater stock. Dennis pulls Dee and Mac aside to discuss the situation. It becomes clear that for Dennis, this is about more than scamming seats to a Phillies' game -- he wants to actually become Brian LeFevre, to "wear another man's skin" so that he can "get off." Dee and Mac seem disturbed by this, but agree to go along. Dennis then tells the two executives that he considers their offer insulting and acts like he's going to leave, but they tell him they will persuade him, if it takes all week.
Charlie and Frank are getting fitted for raquetball outfits. Charlie goes over Frank's schedule for the day, which mostly seems to revolve around buying expensive things on the company's dime. Charlie asks Frank what Atwater makes, to which Frank replies that they make money. Charlie says he has business ideas he can propose, but Frank isn't interested in hearing them. Instead, he tells Charlie to get a sushi dinner, to be served on "some Jap broad's tits", together for some potential Japanese investors.
Dennis, Dee, and Mac arrive at a resort. Dennis wants Dee and Mac to follow the stories he's written for them, but Mac tells him that he wants to pitch some business ideas he has. Dennis tells him to stay with the program. The two executives show up and tell "LeFevre" that they have something they know he'll love. They tell him to go down to the locker room. When Dennis and Mac get there, they discover a shirtless Asian boy waiting for them, who tells them that "I'm all yours." Mac leaves, because he takes this as a sign that LeFevre is "into banging little Asian boys." Dennis, on the other hand, seems willing to continue -- if LeFevre is into banging "tiny Asian boys", then he must be too. But it turns out that the boy is a caddy, and they're going to go play golf. Dennis seems relieved.
Charlie and Frank are in a sushi restaurant, sitting at a table on which the aforementioned naked Asian woman is lying, covered in sushi. As Charlie goes over what he's done that day, he tells Frank he's discovered who the controlling shareholder of Atwater is: Brian LeFevre. He tells Frank that Dennis is now pretending to be LeFevre, and he is stringing along the guys from Wheeler, who are trying to seize control of the company by buying LeFevre's stock. Frank realizes that LeFevre must have come to the bar to talk to him. He is happy to hear the news, however, because that will keep the Wheeler Group off their back and give him time to fix Atwater.
The investors show up. Charlie starts talking to them in a broken English with a bizarre fake Japanese accent, which Frank tells him not to do. When Charlie starts talking to them about crows' eggs, apparently pitching some business scheme, Frank fires him because he just isn't grasping what it is Atwater does, because he keeps talking about "products" and "making things."
Charlie goes back to Paddy's, and tells Mac that he has been fired. Mac, likewise, tells Charlie that he's quit Dennis' scheme. They both complain that no one will listen to their ideas, so they decide to go into business together. As they discuss their new business, a police detective comes in, asking if the name Brian LeFevre means anything to them.
The Atwater stockholder meeting begins. The Wheeler executives ask "LeFevre" if he is selling, and Dennis again puts them off. Frank calls the meeting to order, but Charlie and Mac show up saying they have something they need to know about Atwater. They ask that a video be played. The video isn't about Atwater, though -- it's a pitch for a "fitness drink" named Fight Milk that appears to be made of milk, crows' eggs, and booze. They admit they were just showing the video first because they knew no one would care about Fight Milk after they gave the news on Atwater, which is this: Brian LeFevre is dead. Charlie produces LeFevre's severed finger. Mac explains what happened: LeFevre came to Paddy's to meet with Frank. He wanted to go to the bathroom, but it was closed because Charlie was cleaning it, so he had to go out to the alley to piss. When he tried to go back into the bar, he discovered that he didn't have his wallet, and Mac wouldn't let him back into the bar because he had no ID. So while LeFevre searched for his wallet outside, he was mugged by a crackhead, who stabbed him to death. When Frank asks why they have his finger, Charlie says that was a misunderstanding: Mac asked him to get LeFevre's fingerprint, and Charlie heard "fingertip." The Wheeler execs demand to know who the people they've been wooing all week are, and Dennis says they are "just a couple of people who totally got off." (Dee, however, says she didn't "get off", but Dennis tells her "some women just don't know how.")
Frank tries to bring the meeting back to order, and just as he gives an inspirational speech about how he built the company with his bare hands, he gets a phone call, and then he tells the gathered stockholders that Atwater is no more, that he has "stripped it and sold it to the Chinks." When Charlie asks how he could have done that when he loves the company, Frank says that while he does love Atwater, he loves money more, "and I made a shitload of it." He then asks Charlie to tell him more about Fight Milk.
- Charlie Day as Charlie Kelly
- Glenn Howerton as Dennis Reynolds
- Rob McElhenney as Mac
- Kaitlin Olson as Dee Reynolds
- Danny DeVito as Frank Reynolds
- Joel Murray as Andrew Kane
- Gerald Downey as Bill Larkin
- James Moses Black as Male Executive
- Laura Niemi as Second Executive
- Barry Livingston as Third Executive
- Rick Zahn as Det. Tanner
- Chad Jamian Williams as Copy Boy
- Mark Daugherty as Caddy
- Glenn Howerton tweeted a photo from the set of this episode September 27th: "Kaitlin with cigar".
- Danny DeVito referred to the episode in this interview.
- Here are some photos from James Moses Black's IMDb page: The Gang, with Charlie, with Kaitlin,
with Rob, with Danny.
- And that's in two days before the premiere of this episode!
- Frank's old real estate office was first seen in "A Very Sunny Christmas".
- The "dick flier" that Mac, Dennis, and Charlie tried to use to attact guys to their "party mansion" (from "Dennis and Dee's Mom Is Dead") can be seen attached to the bottle of "Fight Milk" that Charlie and Mac hold in their video.
- Dennis was right about the Canadian money they found in Brian LeFevre's wallet being worth as much as US currency: on Nov. 29, 2012, the date this show originally aired, one Canadian dollar was worth $1.0070 US dollars, so it was actually worth slightly more. Source
- This is the second time Mac has used the pseudonym "Vic Vinegar"; the first was in "The Gang Exploits the Mortgage Crisis", when he was one half (with Dennis) of the bogus realtor duo "Honey & Vinegar".
|—||“Charlie is my right-hand man.”|
|“Charlie can't read.”||—|
|“He'll adapt to reading?”||—|
|—||“What does Atwater make?”|
|“Whaddya mean, like how much money does Atwater make?”||—|
|—||“Uh, no, I mean, what do we make?”|
|“I don't follow. We make money.”||—|
|—||“No, I know we make money, I mean, what do we create?”|
|“We create wealth.”||—|
|—||“No, no, no, I mean, what do we build? What do we design? Because I have some ideas that could really help the company...”|
|“Charlie, Charlie, we don't build anything. Leave that to the Chinks! Speaking of which, I want this sushi dinner to be the tits.”||—|
|—||“Oh, OK. So you want to be really expensive...”|
|“No. I wanna eat sushi off some Jap broad's tits.”||—|
|Season 8 Episodes|
| 1. "Pop-Pop: The Final Solution"|
2. "The Gang Recycles Their Trash"
3. "The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre"
4. "Charlie and Dee Find Love"
5. "The Gang Gets Analyzed"
| 6. "Charlie's Mom Has Cancer"|
7. "Frank's Back in Business"
8. "Charlie Rules the World"
9. "The Gang Dines Out"
10. "Reynolds vs. Reynolds: The Cereal Defense"