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Charlie Kelly

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Charlie Kelly
Season 7 - Charlie
Portrayed by Charlie Day
Alias "Greenman"
"The Wild Card"
"Dirtgrub"
Family Bonnie Kelly
Jack Kelly
Frank Reynolds
Relationship The Waitress (one sided on his side)
Frank Reynolds (ex-husband)
Stacy Corvelli (loss of virginity)
Ruby Taft (ex-girlfriend)
Birthday 1976
Job Janitor at Paddy's Pub
Images of Charlie Kelly
Charlie Kelly Quotes
Square-Charlie-Cheesy
Square Charlie
Square-Charlie-BW

Charlie Kelly is the janitor of Paddy's Pub. He is a member of the Gang that works at the bar. Charlie has been best friends with Mac since childhood. He shares an apartment with Frank Reynolds, who may or may not be his biological father.

At one point Charlie was a co-owner of Paddy's Pub, but he sold his shares to Dennis and Mac for, among other things, half a sandwich. ("The Gang Sells Out") The most tedious and disgusting janitorial tasks at the bar are referred to as Charlie Work, even when Charlie is temporarily spared from performing them.

Charlie is known for his illiteracy, his habit of slipping into a variety of characters for his various schemes, and his never ending obsession with The Waitress.

Charlie is portrayed by Charlie Day.

Physical AppearanceEdit

Charlie's signature attire is his pajamas: a holey black t-shirt depicting a shiny black horse, and an old pair of long thermal underwear. (Though for a lot of Season 3, he kept wearing the same Bayside Tigers t-shirt).

Charlie-signature-attire

Charlie's signature attire

PersonalityEdit

Charlie (9)
Charlie (6)
Charlie (7)

Arguably the most unhappy member of the gang, Charlie is a volatile individual who is prone to Al Pacino-styled outbursts.

Like the others, Charlie possesses several narcissistic characteristics. He never admits ignorance on any subject, despite being ignorant of just about everything, and often acts like he knows better than others. He tends to try and demonstrate his knowledge by throwing out terms associated with the subject in question, or simply mirroring what other people are saying, without any really understanding, making himself look like an idiot. When called out on his painfully obvious illiteracy and general lack of intelligence, he gets incredibly defensive and angry. He also has a problem with authority, and often ignores the gang's attempts to control his dysfunctional behaviour. Also, whenever the Gang begin a new scheme, he often expects to be placed in a position of authority, such as being Dennis' campaign manager in "The Gang runs for Office" or being captain of the boat in "The Gang buys a Boat", despite being woefully unsuited for them. When denied something he wants, he will usually attempt to get it anyway through deceit and manipulation, never taking responsibility for the havoc he always causes as a result.

Charlie has a tendency to dress up as characters and lose himself in fantasies based on movies he's seen. In some cases, a subtle reference to a movie is made without Charlie explicitly referencing the character. He has dressed up and pretended to be the following characters:

While dressing up as these individuals, Charlie often loses track of reality and literally adopts their personality and idiosyncrasies. This inability to separate fantasy from reality is a trait shared by his alleged biological father Frank, who sometimes tells stories from the movie Rambo as if they happened to him. ("Mac and Dennis: Manhunters")

He also created the character Greenman.

Charlie will sometimes scheme to deceive the entire Gang in order to achieve his goals, especially in pursuit of the Waitress.

  • Charlie pretended he was dying of cancer in a failed attempted to get the Waitress to sleep with him. ("Charlie Has Cancer")
  • Charlie manipulates Dennis into sleeping with both Charlie and Mac's mothers in an attempt to the Waitress to sleep with him out of revenge ("Mac Bangs Dennis' Mom")
  • Charlie pretended to be in love with another woman in order to make the Waitress jealous. ("Charlie and Dee Find Love")
  • Charlie tried tricking Dee, Mac, and Frank out of their shares of the bar, but was interrupted by Dennis. ("Charlie Rules the World")

Charlie has huffed glue since he was a kid, starting when one of the men ("Santas") who came to bang his mom on Christmas gave him a gift of rubber cement.

He enjoys seeing the other members of The Gang embarrassed. In "Dennis and Dee's Mom Is Dead", he is eager to have someone read to him from Dee's middle school diary so he can laugh at her difficulties as a disabled adolescent.

Charlie is intensely patriotic:

Charlie has been caught masturbating by several members of the gang. Dee caught him masturbating to Dennis' cartoon drawings of large breasted women in "The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo". She also accused him of stealing Dennis' erotic memoir in order to masturbate to its pictures in "Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life". Frank also mentioned that he likes to hide inside of the apartment couch in order to catch Charlie "pounding off". ("A Very Sunny Christmas") When Charlie reveals to Frank that he awoke to him doing some "pretty frantic research of [his] own" one night, Frank countered by saying that the two could go "tit-for-tat on that one". ("Mac Is a Serial Killer")

Charlie may also be an atheist:

Early LifeEdit

1x1 Charlie dominos
Charlie Gets Crippled
Charlie Goes America
Gun Fever
Charlie Has Cancer
1x3 Charlie

Charlie's real father is almost certainly Frank Reynolds. Frank had a one night stand with Charlie's mother 30 years ago. ("Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad") Frank forced Charlie's mom to have an abortion but it "didn't take" and Charlie was born three months later. Bonnie says she had to keep it a secret from Frank because he was already married to Barbara Reynolds at the time. If Frank had found out he would have made Bonnie throw him in a dumpster. ("The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby")

When Charlie was a young boy, his mom would sleep with a variety of men on Christmas Day. It is strongly implied that she had sex for money. ("A Very Sunny Christmas")

Charlie has at least one younger sister who is mentioned once. Two young girls are at Charlie's intervention but neither of them speaks or is named. When Charlie mentions his sister to the McPoyles, he states that she was at the intervention they had just left. ("Charlie Got Molested")

Charlie's grandmother (Bonnie's mother) also appears at his intervention. ("Charlie Got Molested") She is never seen or heard from again in the series. 

It has been repeatedly implied that Charlie was sexually abused as a child.

  • When the McPoyle brothers claimed they were molested by Coach Murray, he had a strange reaction. He later admits he was never molested by Coach Murray to the police.
  • Later, Charlie repeatedly wrote music about the "Nightman", a spirit-like being who crawled into his room at night when he was young and takes hold of him with his "strong hands", and "fills him up". The words Charlie uses to describe his transformation into the Nightman undoubtedly describes a violent rape by a man.
  • Charlie is intensely uncomfortable around his Uncle Jack, often dodging physical contact with him. He also reacts negatively to memories of the two sharing a room when Charlie was a child.

Charlie's former sexual abuse is obvious to every character on the show but Charlie himself. While performing in Charlie's musical, most members of the Gang interprets the song as involving the rape of a small boy. Dee objects to singing her Coffee Shop Princess song as being about the molestation of a young boy. Frank interprets the Troll Toll Song as being about wanting "this boy's hole" instead of "this boy's soul". And Mac interpreted the same song to involve a rape scene, which he and Dennis worked hard to make "classy". ("The Nightman Cometh")

It is strongly suggested that the Nightman was actually Charlie's Uncle Jack. Further, the troll is almost certainly Charlie's mother, who was charging Uncle Jack rent to stay in her house. Charlie interprets this as Jack paying the "troll toll." ("The Great Recession")

When Charlie was young, his best friend was Mac. Every Christmas, they'd get together and throw rocks at trains. ("A Very Sunny Christmas")

In eighth grade, Charlie won a dance competition to "Take My Breath Away" by the band Berlin. ("The Gang Dances Their Asses Off")

In high school, Charlie was oblivious to the fact that he wasn't considered cool. ("The Waitress Is Getting Married")

Skills and AbilitiesEdit

1x2 drunk Tommy
1x3 Charlie dancing
1x3 Charlie girl
Episode Portal
Kitten-mittens2
Preacher

Despite his apparent lack of intelligence, Charlie has displayed some unexpected skills and abilities:

Charlie has also directed several video and musical productions:

He also wrote the music and most of the lyrics to the song Day Man, and performed it with Dennis as part of their group, Electric Dream Machine ("Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person").

Dennis and Mac frequently manipulate Charlie into tests of his fortitude, such as hitting him over the head with beer bottles and chairs, or having him tow Dennis' Range Rover through the streets of Philadelphia. They consider Charlie to be almost impossible to injure. ("Hundred Dollar Baby")

Charlie has survived Dennis running him over with a car ("Charlie Gets crippled") and shooting him in the head ("Gun Fever").

Charlie is also surprisingly adept at concocting elaborate plans to achieve his desires. ("Mac Bangs Dennis' Mom")

He has also intricately memorized and even mapped out the air ducts and vents throughout Paddy's Pub. It is stated that Charlie sometimes seeks refuge and solitude there. It is the only access to Charlie's "bad room", in which Charlie likes to go to "be alone and break bottles". ("The Gang Gets Held Hostage")

Charlie can hold his breath for over seven minutes, just short of the world record. ("Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender")

WeaknessesEdit

S9 Charlie
Charlie lives in squalor. Several people have referred to his dingy apartment as a "shithole". Barbara says this in "The Gang Goes Jihad". His poverty is in part caused by a tendency to make "bad investments". Charlie mentions this in "Gun Fever", when his landlord Hwang is bugging him about being late on his rent. At one point, Charlie sells a "shit load" of his shares of Paddy's to Mac for half a sandwich. ("The Gang Sells Out")

Charlie has limited personal hygiene. Mac says that he has never seen Charlie put on deodorant, and Charlie admits that he only washes his testicles every Friday. ("The Gang Dances Their Asses Off") The Waitress also noted once that Charlie "smell[s] really bad". ("The Gang Sells Out")

Charlie often exhibits difficulty reading and writing, and is often accused of being illiterate and "retarded" by other characters. Mac even went as far as claiming "No one understands the subtleties of Charlie's retardation better than me." Charlie misread a contract in "The Gang Dances Their Asses Off" that resulted in his putting the bar at risk of being lost in a contest. He was unable to write clear lyrics in "The Nightman Cometh", and needed help from Artemis.

Charlie is sometimes unable to comprehend what people are talking about ("The Gang Recycles Their Trash"), and has a poor grasp of history and current events. He mentions that Israel is in a tough situation because of "that whole tsunami" and the "superdome thing" ("The Gang Goes Jihad") .

He is extremely prone to electrocution, having been electrocuted over 500 times. ("The Gang Gets Whacked (Part 1)")

Like Dee, he suffers from stage fright and becomes nauseated when performing in front of live audiences. ("Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life") He's afraid that people will boo him or hate him, and that's why he's never pursued his dreams. ("Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person") Despite these fears, however, he was able to perform in his own musical and propose to the Waitress in front of an audience. ("The Nightman Cometh")

Charlie frequently abuses inhalants such as glue, spray paint, and bathroom cleaners. ("Underage Drinking: A National Concern") ("Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad") ("The High School Reunion")

After blowing up the building next door to the bar Charlie is ordered by the court to got to Alcoholics Anonymous after telling the judge he was drunk, which was true but also in the hope that it would get him off the hook. When arriving for his first meeting Charlie enters drinking a beer. After the Waitress stops being his sponsor, Charlie responds by getting extremely drunk before refereeing a children' basketball game. ("The Gang Gives Back")

Charlie can't leave Philadelphia unless he is unconscious ("The Gang Gets Stranded in the Woods") ("The Gang Goes to the Jersey Shore").

In addition, Charlie has abused or been addicted to:

RelationshipsEdit

Charlie has had little success in dating, and spends much of his spare time stalking the Waitress. He has even hired a spy to watch the Waitress. ("Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life") He goes to great lengths to win her over, in spite of her declarations that she will never be interested in him.

Charlie seems to believe that the relationship he has with The Waitress is normal, and the way that a relationship is supposed to go. When he tells Ruby that he was merely using her to make The Waitress jealous, he says, after noting she banged him "almost immediately", that "a quality woman doesn't do that: she doesn't say 'yes' right away - she says 'no' to a man, for years, like ten years." ("Charlie and Dee Find Love") However, the Waitress herself could barely be referred as "quality woman" this way, given how she banged Dennis in Season One.
("Charlie Has Cancer")


BangsEdit

Charlie presumably lost his virginity to Stacy Corvelli in high school. She shows up a decade or so later and tricks him into thinking he fathered her son, Tommy. Tommy is actually the son of another high school classmate, Jimmy Doyle. ("Charlie Wants an Abortion") A deleted scene in the Season Five DVD hints that Stacy is the only woman he has ever slept with until that point, and that it may have been a traumatic experience for him.

Until Season 8, Charlie was the only member of The Gang who had not had sex during the present time of the series. His relationship with Ruby Taft broke this "record" ("Charlie and Dee Find Love").

He has come close to banging several women:

  • The Waitress - Mac and Dennis paid her to sleep with Charlie, but he didn't make a move on her. ("Charlie Has Cancer") Later, he wasn't quick enough to say a word to her when she claimed "I'm gonna bang the next person who talks to me" before Schmitty popped in. ("The High School Reunion, Part 2: The Gang's Revenge")
  • Prostitutes - it was not shown whether or not Charlie banged one or more prostitutes when partying with Frank's money. Mac affirmed that "...services have already been rendered." ("Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare")
  • Sun-Li - Sun-Li followed him home and moved into his apartment, but he didn't even kiss her, though they were briefly engaged. Charlie later discovered that she was only 12 years old. ("The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation")
  • Painted girls at fraternity - two girls painted Charlie and Mac, and were going to let them return the favor before showering together to wash the paint off (presumably leading to sex). But before Charlie and Mac could paint them back, the heads of the fraternity kicked them out. ("The Gang Reignites the Rivalry")

TriviaEdit

See AlsoEdit

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