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Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass

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"Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass" is the ninth episode of the second season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Charlie is outraged over Dennis smoking in the bar, and teams up with Dee to start an anti-smoking rally. Meanwhile, Mac, Dennis, and Frank turn Paddy's Pub into an "anything goes" bar... which goes horribly awry thanks to the new clientele: drug abusers and Vietnamese gamblers.


2:30 AM on a Saturday

As Charlie complains about Charlie Work, Dennis blows cigarette smoke into his face. Charlie gets pissed and suggests banning smoking in the bar. Dee agrees. Mac, Dennis, and Frank disagree, calling smoking bans un-American.

At an anti-smoking street performance, Dee and Charlie find out that the protester is actually just an actor and doesn't care about smoking. Charlie gets pissed and Dee convinces him the best way to help his cause is by street performing himself. The next day they give a performance of their own, but Charlie locks up and vomits in stage fright. Dee enlists Artemis for her next performance in front of Paddy's, but Charlie scares away their audience, trying to get less patronage at the bar.

The mcpoyles

Meanwhile, Dennis, Mac, and Frank decide to make Paddy's an "anything goes" bar. A lot of attractive college girls attend the first couple of nights, showing their breasts for beads and t-shirts. The crowd Frank gathered, however, slowly scares them away. His crowd, Vietnamese gamblers who smoke heavily, aren't appreciated by Dennis and Mac but they don't want to be hypocritical about their "anything goes" mantra. Ryan and Liam McPoyle show up at the bar, making Dennis and Mac re-think their new bar's strategy. They manage to keep the McPoyles in the corner and allow Frank to have Paddy's basement to do more intense gambling. The next night, however, the bar is full of McPoyles and drug addicts.

2x9 Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass

Dee and Charlie enter Paddy's, arguing about their latest demonstration. Charlie is stabbed by Liam for sending them to prison. ("Charlie Got Molested") Mac and Dennis decide to call the "anything goes" tactic off and go to the basement to shoo out Frank's crowd. The gambling has taken a dark turn, for they are now playing Russian Roulette. After a man dies, Dennis decides to call the cops.


Recurring Roles

Guest Stars

  • Carla Alapont as Cute Girl #1
  • Sabrina Machado as Cute Girl #2
  • Dennis Staroselsky as Junkie
  • Morgan Vukovic as Cute girl #3
  • Lucas Papaelias as Lucas


  • The game of Russian roulette played by Frank's Vietnamese friends is a parody/tribute to the film The Deer Hunter in which U.S. Army prisoners are forced to play the game for their captors amusement.
  • Charlie's song "Rock, Flag, and Eagle" is completely an improvisation of Charlie Day. During that take, Charlie completely forgot the original version of this song, but truck commercials with multiple using of traditional American symbols were on his mind during filming.
  • In the beginning when Charlie is complaining about the Charlie work, there is a blue lighter lying on the bar. A minute later, it's gone.
  • The Jonestown Tragedy and Attica Prison riot both were mentioned in this episode - as well as Hurricane Katrina. When Charlie mentions Attica it is a reference to the Al Pacino movie Dog Day Afternoon. This is the first of many times Charlie imitates different Al Pacino characters.
  • When Frank is at the corner of the bar talking to the guys about the Vietnamese gamblers, there are two orange circles on the bar that appear and reappear during the scene.
  • When Frank is sitting at the table with the paper and telling Sweet Dee she's not pretty enough to be an actress, his drink straw is lying on the table. In the next shot, it's back in his drink.
  • Mac is not familiar with Stalin, who is a major historical figure.
  • Later, Frank's experience of running a sweatshop will come in handy for him in "The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo."


Mini-Charlie Kelly   I am done with rat detail. It's by far the worst job in the bar!
That's why we call it Charlie Work.   Mini-Dennis Reynolds



Mini-Frank Reynolds   Look, I didn't go to Vietnam just to have pansies like you take my freedom away from me.
You went to Vietnam in 1993 to open up a sweatshop!..   Mini-Dee Reynolds
Mini-Frank Reynolds   And a lot of good men died in that sweatshop!



Mini-Charlie Kelly   You don't know shit about the Constitution.
He knows more than you two un-American freedom haters.   Mini-Mac



Mini-Charlie Kelly   Get in your little van and drive out of my face before I go America all over your ass!



Mini-Dennis Reynolds   No, Mac. We should go to the library. At sorority houses you're going to find nothing but tramps and whores -- those girls are already wild.
Perfect!   Mini-Mac
Mini-Dennis Reynolds   No, no, Mac. You're not listening to me. We don't want wild girls, we want real girls going wild. It's important to see the transition, you want to watch the process.



Mini-Dennis Reynolds   This is what it was like to have a bar in New Orleans, bro!
Oh, man! New Orleans really had their shit figured out...   Mini-Mac
Mini-Dennis Reynolds   Oh, they totally had had their shit figured out, yeah... except for the LEVEES.
Right, yeah. Except for the levees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, and the EVACUATION PLAN.   Mini-Mac



Mini-Mac   You ask to see a woman's breasts on the street you get slapped. You give her a free t-shirt and video tape it and the clothes come right off.



Mini-Charlie Kelly   Let me kick down a thing to you that our founding fathers kicked down to me. It goes: "Don't. Tread. On Me." Right now you guys are treading all over me!



Mini-Charlie Kelly   I'm gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass. Gonna kick some ass in the USA. Gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I'm gonna kick some butt, gonna drive a big truck. I'm gonna rule this world. I'm gonna kick some ass. I'm gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass. Rock, flag, and eagle!



Mini-Dee Reynolds   I am not a failure!
Dennis, what is it that you call it when somebody tries to do something but doesn't succeed?   Mini-Mac
Mini-Dennis Reynolds   Uh, that would in fact be a failure.



Mini-Artemis Dubois   Is there any nudity involved?
No.   Mini-Dee Reynolds
Mini-Artemis Dubois   Can there be?
No.   Mini-Dee Reynolds
Mini-Artemis Dubois   Alright, I'll do it anyway.



Mini-Charlie Kelly   Hey, Ryan! How you doing? Look man, sorry to interrupt you, but if you're not too busy showering in your brother's urine or plotting your revenge against me, would you might lighting my cigarette?



Mini-Mac   (about Vietnamese music) This music sounds like whales raping each other.



Mini-Liam McPoyle   (to Charlie) You just got fork-stabbed!
Season 2 Episodes
  1. "Charlie Gets Crippled"
2. "The Gang Goes Jihad"
3. "Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare"
4. "Mac Bangs Dennis' Mom"
5. "Hundred Dollar Baby"
6. "The Gang Gives Back"
7. "The Gang Exploits A Miracle"
8. "The Gang Runs for Office"
 9. "Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass"
10. "Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad"

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