|Portrayed by Charlie Day|
"The Wild Card"
|Family|| Bonnie Kelly|
|Relationship|| The Waitress (stalking)|
Frank Reynolds (ex-husband)
Stacy Corvelli (first sex)
Ruby Taft (trick girlfriend)
|Job||Janitor at Paddy's Pub|
| Images of Charlie Kelly|
Charlie Kelly Quotes
Charlie Kelly is the janitor of Paddy's Pub. He is a member of the Gang that works at the pub; he was best friends growing up with Mac and shares an apartment with Frank Reynolds, who may or may not be his biological father.
At one point Charlie was a co-owner of Paddy's Pub, but he sold his shares to Dennis and Mac for, among other things, half a sandwich. ("The Gang Sells Out") The most tedious and disgusting janitorial tasks at the bar are referred to as Charlie Work, even when Charlie is temporarily spared from performing them.
Charlie is portrayed by Charlie Day.
Charlie's signature attire is his pajamas: a holey black t-shirt depicting a shiny black horse, and an old pair of long thermal underwear.(Though for a lot of Season 3, he kept wearing the same Bayside Tigers t-shirt).
Arguably the most unhappy member of the gang, Charlie is a volatile individual who is prone to Al Pacino-styled outbursts.
Charlie has a tendency to dress up as characters and lose himself in fantasies based on movies he's seen. In some cases a subtle reference to a movie is made without Charlie explicitly referencing the character. He has dressed up and pretended to be the following characters:
- Vietnam War veteran Ron Kovic from "Born on the Fourth of July" ("Charlie Gets Crippled")
- Corruption-fighting police officer Serpico played by Al Pacino ("Bums: Making a Mess All Over the City")
- Musician Bob Dylan when getting ready to perform a song ("Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person")
- Stereotypical Texas Oilman when selling gasoline door-to-door ("The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis"), and then again on a blind date ("Frank's Pretty Woman")
- Charlie has a nervous breakdown similar to John Nash in A Beautiful Mind and imagines a huge conspiracy is happening around him. ("Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack")
- Charlie believes himself to be a genius janitor similar to Will Hunting from "Good Will Hunting" ("The Gang Reignites the Rivalry")
While dressing up as these individuals, Charlie often loses track of reality and literally adopts their personality and idiosyncrasies. This inability to separate fantasy from reality is a trait shared by his biological father Frank, who sometimes tells stories from the movie Rambo as if they happened to him. ("Mac and Dennis: Manhunters")
He also created the character Greenman.
Charlie will sometimes scheme to deceive the entire Gang, in order to achieve his goals (especially in pursuit of the Waitress).
- Charlie pretended he was dying of cancer in a failed attempted to get the Waitress to sleep with him. ("Charlie Has Cancer")
- Charlie pretended to be in love with another woman in order to make the Waitress jealous. ("Charlie and Dee Find Love")
Charlie has huffed glue since he was a kid, starting when one of the men ("Santas") who came to bang his mom on Christmas gave him a gift of rubber cement.
He enjoys seeing the other members of The Gang embarrassed. In "Dennis and Dee's Mom Is Dead", he is eager to have someone read to him from Dee's middle school diary so he can laugh at her difficulties as a disabled adolescent.
Charlie is intensely patriotic:
- He is threatened by a North Korean bar, proclaiming it as "unamerican". ("The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation")
- He helps throw a wrestling show, in order to support the troops returning from war. ("The Gang Wrestles for the Troops")
- Charlie tries to convey his love for America by protesting. ("Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass")
Charlie has been caught masturbating by several members of the gang. Dee caught him masturbating to Dennis' cartoon drawings of large breasted women in "The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo". She also accused him of stealing Dennis' erotic memoir in order to masturbate to its pictures in "Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life". Frank also mentioned that he likes to hide inside of the apartment couch in order to catch Charlie "pounding off". ("A Very Sunny Christmas") When Charlie reveals to Frank that he awoke to him doing some "pretty frantic research of [his] own" one night, Frank countered by saying that the two could go "tit-for-tat on that one". ("Mac Is a Serial Killer")
Charlie may also be an atheist:
- He argues with Mac about religion frequently.
- The idea of a crucifix in the bar made him very angry/uncomfortable (Sweet Dee Gets Audited).
- He hated having to go to church (Charlie's Mom Has Cancer).
- He pretent to be a priest & not only not feeling guilty, mostly just made sterotypes (The Gang Exploits A Miracle).
Charlie's real father is almost certainly Frank Reynolds. Frank had a one night stand with Charlie's mother 30 years ago. ("Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad") Frank forced Charlie's mom to have an abortion but it "didn't take" and Charlie was born three months later. ("The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby")
Charlie has at least one younger sister who is mentioned once. Two young girls are at Charlie's intervention but neither of them speaks or is named. When Charlie mentions his sister to the McPoyles he states that she was at the intervention they had just left. ("Charlie Got Molested")
Charlie's grandmother (Bonnie's mother) also appears at his intervention. ("Charlie Got Molested")
It has been repeatedly implied that Charlie was sexually abused as a child.
- When the McPoyle brothers claimed they were molested by Coach Murray, he had a strange reaction. He later admits he was never molested by Coach Murray to the police.
- Later, Charlie repeatedly wrote music about the "Nightman", a spirit-like being who crawled into his room at night when he was young and takes hold of him with his "strong hands", and "fills him up". The words Charlie uses to describe his transformation into the Nightman undoubtedly describes a violent rape by a man.
Charlie's former sexual abuse is obvious to every character on the show but Charlie himself. While performing in Charlie's musical, most members of the Gang interprets the song as involving the rape of a small boy. Dee objects to singing her Coffee Shop Princess song as being about the molestation of a young boy. Frank interprets the Troll Toll Song as being about wanting "this boy's hole" instead of "this boy's soul". And Mac interpreted the same song to involve a rape scene, which he and Dennis worked hard to make "classy". ("The Nightman Cometh")
In eighth grade, Charlie won a dance competition to "Take My Breath Away" by the band Berlin. ("The Gang Dances Their Asses Off")
Skills and Abilities
Despite his apparent lack of intelligence, Charlie has displayed some unexpected skills and abilities:
- Charlie can survive abortions. Charlie was aborted by his mother and three months later popped out happy as a clam! ("The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby")
- He is the most skilled musician in the group, even implying that he is a savant. He writes an entire musical in "The Nightman Cometh". He also has displayed skill in playing electric keyboard. ("Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person")
- Charlie can drink immense amounts of alcohol. He once drank 24 beers in one night. While he was immensely drunk, he was still able to carry on a conversation. ("Mac's Banging the Waitress")
- Charlie has a prodigious ability to handle drugs and sedatives. He consumes an enormous quantity of sedative-stuffed brownies in "The Gang Dances Their Asses Off".
- He enjoys cooking, which he often does on a hotplate in his apartment. 
- He is adept at sewing, which allows him to maintain the few pieces of clothing that he owns. ("The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo")
- Charlie is an acclaimed "great referee". ("Charlie Wants An Abortion")
- He also has a renowned method of cleaning toilets and urinals. ("Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare")
- He is extremely good at dominoes. ("The Gang Gets Racist")
- He can eat an entire unripe pear in less than 23 seconds of air-time. ("The Gang Hits the Road")
Charlie has also directed several video and musical productions:
- A video of Dennis and Mac threatening jihad ("The Gang Goes Jihad")
- A video of Dennis to promote his run for office ("The Gang Runs for Office")
- A video of Sweet Dee being lit on fire ("Frank Sets Sweet Dee on Fire")
- A musical ("The Nightman Cometh")
- A commercial for his product, Kitten Mittens ("Paddy's Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens")
He also wrote the music and most of the lyrics to the song Day Man, and performed it with Dennis as part of their group, the Electric Dream Machine.
Dennis and Mac frequently manipulate Charlie into tests of his fortitude, such as hitting him over the head with beer bottles and chairs or having him tow Dennis' Range Rover through the streets of Philadelphia. They consider Charlie to be almost impossible to injure. ("Hundred Dollar Baby")
Charlie has survived Dennis running him over with a car (Charlie gets crippled) and shooting him in the head (Gun Fever).
Charlie is also surprisingly adept at concocting elaborate plans to achieve his desires. ("Mac Bangs Dennis' Mom")
He has also intricately memorized and even mapped out the air ducts and vents throughout Paddy's Pub. It is realized that Charlie sometimes seeks refuge and solitude there. It is the only access to "Charlie's bad room", in which Charlie likes to go to "be alone and break bottles". ("The Gang Gets Held Hostage")
Charlie can hold his breath for over seven minutes, just short of the world record. ("Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender")
Charlie lives in squalor. Several people have referred to his dingy apartment as a "shithole". Barbara says this in "The Gang Goes Jihad". His poverty is in part caused by a tendency to make "bad investments". Charlie mentions this in "Gun Fever", when his landlord Hwang is bugging him about being late on his rent. At one point, Charlie sells a "shit load" of his shares of Paddy's to Mac for half a sandwich. ("The Gang Sells Out")
Charlie has limited personal hygiene. Mac says that he has never seen Charlie put on deodorant; Charlie admits that he only washes his testicles every Friday. ("The Gang Dances Their Asses Off") The Waitress also noted once that Charlie "smell[s] really bad". ("The Gang Sells Out")
Charlie often exhibits difficulty reading and writing, and is often accused of being illiterate and "retarded" by other characters. Mac even went as far as claiming "No one understands the subtleties of Charlie's retardation better than me." Charlie misread a contract in "The Gang Dances Their Asses Off" that resulted in his putting the bar at risk of being lost in a contest. He was unable to write clear lyrics in "The Nightman Cometh", and needed help from Artemis.
Charlie is sometimes unable to comprehend what people are talking about, and has a poor grasp of history and current events. He mentions that Israel is in a tough situation because of "that whole tsunami" and the "superdome thing". ("The Gang Goes Jihad")
He is extremely prone to electrocution, having been electrocuted over 500 times. ("The Gang Gets Whacked (Part 1)")
Like Dee, however, he suffers from stage fright and becomes nauseated when performing in front of live audiences. ("Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life") He's afraid that people will boo him or hate him, and that's why he's never pursued his dreams. ("Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person") Despite these fears though, he was able to perform in his own musical and propose to the Waitress in front of an audience. ("The Nightman Cometh")
After blowing up the building next door to the bar Charlie is ordered by the court to got to Alcoholics Anonymous after telling the judge he was drunk, which was true but also in the hope that it would get him off the hook. When arriving for his first meeting Charlie enters drinking a beer. After his the Waitress drops him as his sponsor Charlie responds by getting extremely drunk before refereeing a kids basketball game. ("The Gang Gives Back")
In addition, Charlie has abused or been addicted to:
- anabolic steroids ("Hundred Dollar Baby")
- copious amounts of alcohol ("The Gang Gives Back")
- LSD ("The Gang Gets Invincible")
- Glue ("Underage Drinking: A National Concern") ("Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad")
- poppers ("Mac and Charlie Die (Part 1)")
- cocaine ("The Gang Gets Whacked (Part 1)")
- spray paint ("Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person")
Charlie has had little success in dating, and spends much of his spare time stalking the Waitress. He has even hired a spy to watch the Waitress. ("Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life") He goes to great lengths to win her over, in spite of her declarations that she will never be interested in him.
Charlie seems to believe that the relationship he has with The Waitress is normal and the way that a relationship is supposed to go. When he tells Ruby that he was merely using her to make The Waitress jealous, he says, after noting she banged him "almost immediately", that "a quality woman doesn't do that: she doesn't say 'yes' right away - she says 'no' to a man, for years, like ten years." ("Charlie and Dee Find Love") Even though the Waitress herself could barely be referred as "quality woman" this way, given how she banged Dennis in Season One.
("Charlie Has Cancer")
Charlie presumably lost his virginity to Stacy Corvelli in high school. She shows up a decade or so later and tricks him into thinking he fathered her son Tommy. Tommy is actually the son of another High School classmate Jimmy Doyle. ("Charlie Wants an Abortion") A deleted scene in the Season Five DVD hints that Stacy is the only woman he has ever slept with until that point, and that it may have been a traumatic experience for him.
Until Season 8, Charlie was the only member of The Gang who had not had sex during the present time of the series. A "stupid little rich slut" Ruby Taft, which Charlie actually banged a bunch of times, did break this "record" (but he was only using her to make the Waitress jealous). ("Charlie and Dee Find Love")
He has come close to banging several women:
- The Waitress - Mac and Dennis paid her to sleep with Charlie, but he didn't make a move on her. ("Charlie Has Cancer") Later, he wasn't thundergun enough to say a word to her when she claimed "I'm gonna bang the next person who talks to me" before Schmitty popped in. ("The High School Reunion, Part 2: The Gang's Revenge")
- Prostitutes - it was not shown whether or not Charlie banged one or more prostitutes when partying with Frank's money. Mac affirmed that "...services have already been rendered." ("Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare")
- Sun-Li - Sun-Li followed him home and moved into his apartment, but he didn't even kiss her (even though they were briefly engaged). Charlie laters discovered that she was only 12 years old. ("The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation")
- Painted girls at fraternity - two girls painted Charlie and Mac, and were gonna let them return the favor and then shower together and wash the paint off (presumably leading to sex). But before Charlie and Mac could paint them back, the heads of the fraternity kicked them out. ("The Gang Reignites the Rivalry")
- Charlie has a dislike for lizards. ("Dennis and Dee's Mom Is Dead")
- Charlie also dislikes people's knees. ("The Waitress Is Getting Married")
- Charlie's favorite food is "milk steak", his favorite hobby is "magnets", and he really likes ghouls. ("The Waitress is Getting Married")
- Charlie claims he has never eaten blueberries and strawberry before, and he never had a pear until "The Gang Hits the Road".
- Charlie had never left Philly before 06x11 (he did it again in 07x02).
- His favorite drugs appear to be alcohol and glue. 
- Charlie eats catfood. ("Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life")
- Charlie doesn't own a toothbrush. ("Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person")
- On his oft-worn green jacket, Charlie wears the specialty mark of a United States Navy Aviation Electronics Technician.
- Charlie does not believe that jockeys are real and after finding out that they are real is astonished they can speak. ("The Gang Gets Whacked (Part 1)")
- Charlie's name has been used in the titles of multiple different episodes.
- Season One: "Charlie Wants An Abortion", "Charlie Has Cancer", "Charlie Got Molested"
- Season Two: "Charlie Gets Crippled", "Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass"
- Season Four: "Mac and Charlie Die (Part 1)", "Mac and Charlie Die (Part 2)"
- Season Five: "Mac and Charlie Write a Movie"
- Season Six: "Mac and Charlie: White Trash", "Charlie Kelly: King of the Rats"
- Season Seven: "Chardee MacDennis: The Game of Games"
- Season Eight: "Charlie and Dee Find Love", "Charlie's Mom Has Cancer", "Charlie Rules the World"