Chardee MacDennis, also known as the Game of Games, is a game played by the Gang. But, according to Charlie, it's not just a game: "It's a war".
The game is played with two opposing teams for fifteen minutes (not including stoppage time, which is frequent) where each team must progress through three stages with its own set of rules. The game ends when one team has completed the required number of challenges from each level. Upon achieving victory the winning team gets to smash the game pieces of the losing team. Mac and Charlie have never won in 18 games.
- There are 15 minutes on the game clock.
- Be sure to always have a first aid kit for injury stoppage.
- It is highly suggested that the game board be nailed down as someone will get angry at losing and try to flip the board.
- Cursing is not allowed in level two. If a player curses, he or she must chug for 5 seconds, but the opponents count.
- Asking questions is not allowed while the clock is running, and it results in drinking for five seconds.
- If a player spills his drink, his team must chug the opposing team's drinks.
- Two cards are needed to advance a level.
- In the event of a tie the instructions on the Black Card must be followed. It reads: flip a coin to determine who is victorious.
Cheating is a big part of this game. It's tolerated and accepted, but there are penalties for getting caught. If a player is caught cheating while both teams are at the same level the opposing team advances one level. If the team at the higher level is caught cheating the opposing team is advanced to the same level.
- Pre-Round Etiquette
Classical music should be played while the participants dine and make small conversation, it gives the illusion of respect for one's opponent. Ask any questions now because asking questions is forbidden while the clock is running, an infraction of the question rule results in being penalized by the team drinking for five seconds. After the reception wine glasses should be smashed and fierce dancing and Maori war dances should occur to intimidate the other team.
Level One (Mind): Trivia, Puzzles, and ArtistryEdit
At this stage only wine is to be served. To advance the team must complete three challenges, taking the card to show proof of victory. Each team picks a card that contains a trivia question, puzzle, or artistic challenge. There are also chance cards taken directly from monopoly, but can be modified. The cards include:
- What is the greatest band in the world?
- Answer: "Chumbawamba".
- Denis is asshole. Y Charlee hat? ("Why Charlie hate?")
- Answer: Becauze Denis is a bastardt man.
- ALL PLAY: The artist from your team must draw the clue from the card on their teammates back. Teammate must guess the clue solely on feel.
- Take the money from everyone’s pockets.
- Swallow this card whole.
- Go to jail*. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
* Jail is a dog kennel and the only way out is to eat the ingredients of a cake.
Level Two (Body): Physical Challenge, Pain, and EnduranceEdit
At this stage only beer is served. There is no cursing allowed either, in the event of cursing the team has to chug a drink for 5 seconds while the other team counts as slow as they wish. The team picks a card which has a physical challenge written on it, completing two challenges will allow the team to advance to the third level. Cards include:
- Player must put his or her hand on the dart board while the opposing team throws darts. If he flinches or shows any sign of pain he loses the challenge.
- The grape gobble. One player from each team must fit as many grapes in their mouth using only their faces. The player must prove how many grapes he or she has in their mouth by spitting them out when the challenge is over; hence eaten grapes do not count.
Level Three (Spirit): Emotional Battery and Public HumiliationEdit
At this stage only hard liquor is served. The team picks a card which has an emotional battery or public humiliation challenge. No mercy should be shown.
During a game that got to Level Three, Dee drew an Emotional Battery card. Charlie and Mac tell Frank that they "berated that bitch for, like, two straight hours" with "really personal stuff...the kind of stuff that cuts you to the core." Dee held it together during the game, allowing her and Dennis to win, but they say that when the game ended, she "cried for a month straight" and attempted suicide.
It says: "In the event of a tie, a winner must be chosen. There can be only one. And so it comes to this: FLIP A COIN" - clearly, that is not any dark at all (and, let's face it, just lame as shit). Here is an explanation
from Mac: "When we were writing the rules, at one point, we just got really bored, and we phoned it in".
The game shown in the episode "Chardee MacDennis: The Game of Games" is the only time the Black Card has ever come into play, and judging from the reaction that everyone had to it, they were obviously expecting it to be far worse than it is.